Tablet Thief
by t.j.guard
Summary: Book 3 of the Night Watch series. Tally's ex pays a visit to the museum, with a lot more on his mind than stealing someone's heart. His cover might not have worked as well as planned, but he's become the next-door neighbor to Chaos.
1. Prologue

Tablet Thief

Disclaimer: I don't own Night at the Museum, the sequel, or any characters therein. However, Canopic Chaos and Shadowhaunt are mine, as are Tally Johannson and any other character which isn't initially from the aforementioned universe.  
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Prologue

The exhibits milled about in the lobby, chattering away about nothing until the chatter became an incomprehensible hum. Larry had his eye on the exhibits and Tally watched McPhee. McPhee seemed fidgety to the point of epilepsy, so Tally walked over. "You can relax now. It's all over."

"For you, it's all over. I have to live with the fact that I was an accomplice to what could've been murder, or even genocide."

"Look, Larry framed you to protect the exhibits. You were the least involved; you fled, even. There was the least amount of real evidence against you, and we knew you'd get out. All you end up with is a slightly marred record, not that we have anything against you."

"How did the substitute fair?"

"Not as well. She was claimed by her dreams of armegeddon."

"Ah, I see."

"Okay, seriously, you should take a brake, like, some kind of vacation."

"Vacation?"

"Yeah. You're shaking like a madman when the guys with the needles show up. Listen, you need a break or you're gonna really be in that position."

"This is my museum, the one I've invested so much in to make the way it is."

"Look, you've been here a long time. You should really take a break some time soon."

"Soon, after I'm certain the chaos concludes."

"Oh, yeah! You speak my language."

"Glad to hear it."

"You, sir, are a smart man."

"Thank you."

Larry gave his usual announcement of the approaching dawn, and Tally set to work helping the miniatures get into their displays. McPhee stayed in the lobby, breathing deeply and saying nothing. Within minutes, the museum was ready to start another day.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

The next night, the Western diorama began to stir around Jedediah, and the first thing he did was rush through the tunnel to Rome, where Octavius stood waiting. "Howdy, partner."

Octavius kissed Jed lightly before responding. "Hello, Jedediah."

"I heard there's gonna be a new exhibit coming."

"A new exhibit?"

"That's the rumor. McPhee ain't said nothing about it, and nobody else ain't said nothing either."

"Do you believe it?"

"I ain't believing shit until I see it, especially coming from the hanging judge."

"A rather wise sentiment, I feel." Octavius took a step and looked around at the plastic representation of his beloved city. "Perhaps it was a lack of this wisdom which led to Rome's downfall."

"Look, I know you love your history and all, but really. Don't mope about it every five minutes."

"You exagerate, Jedediah. Rome was my city, and it was a beautiful city indeed. Sometimes I get a little homesick."

Jed walked up to Octavius and wrapped his arms around the general's shoulders. "You got this Rome."

"Yes, but it is surrounded on all four sides by walls and glass, and we are figurines, there for humans' amusement. They forget about us as soon as they pass us. Jedediah, if you ever saw ancient Rome as it stood at its height, you'd never forget such a sight."

"Wow, you really loved the place."

"And there are times when I miss it dearly."

"Listen, Octy. It's gonna be okay."

"You swear this to me?"

"Yeah, I do."

Octavius rested a hand on Jed's arm, but he'd lost his responses, all of them, to some cavern in his brain.

Tally flopped onto her couch and opened the notebook she was on to the page she marked the day before. She couldn't say why, but Cecil's notes had captivated her. Perhaps it was his drawings, and maybe it was his near encyclopedic knowledge on the exhibits in the Museum of Natural History. In one of the notebooks, she'd found a section on how to fight some of the wilier ones.

She lost herself in her reading, examining the detailed sketches of some of the exhibits, even examining Cecil's marginal notes. Her grandfather seemed to use his experience to his immediate gain, a thought which sent a chill down Tally's spine.

The phone wrang, and Tally jumped, marked her page, and answered. "Hey, what's up?"

"Oh, Tally," McPhee said. "Could you recommend a nice vacation destination?"

"You're really considering this?"

"Yes."

"Well, there's Boston, north Maine, California. I could think of a lot of others."

"Oh, thank you."

"So, how's the museum treating you, besides the insanity and chaos which accompanies the animation of the exhibits every night?"

"Oh, everything's lovely during the day."

"That's good."

"I just worry that the world will see them."

"Well, maybe they will, and maybe they won't. It's my job to just keep them safe. People are weird."

"Yes, I know."

"So you know about them?"

"Would you want the competition to know your secret?"

"Not really."

"Exactly.

Tally slumped against the back of the couch, only then thinking of the words. "Yeah, see you tonight."

"See you then." She hung up and sighed. Already her day felt a lot longer than it needed to be. She lay across the couch and closed her eyes.

Larry clocked in just as the late show was underway, amid the other activities of the New York City night life on the average Saturday night. There seemed to be an abnormal amount of people at the museum that night, but it didn't matter, because Saturday hours were shorter than normal. The first things Larry spotted were Jedediah and Octavius in an out of the way corner of the reception desk. "Uh, you two," Larry began, "how about you two hide before you're seen by anyone."

"Aw, fine," Jed said, pulling himself away from Octavius. "We'll go away." He and Octavius climbed onto Larry's palm and allowed him to lower them to the ground, where they fled for some...private place.

Tally walked through the museum doors into the throng of people and exhibits, inhaled deeply, and let out a sigh. She took a few more steps into her world, allowing the smell of the museum to fill her nostrils. The world shrunk and seemed to expand at the same time, including only the museum yet all the history represented within, something of an all-inclusive, yet all-exclusive, mutually comprehensible, mutually incomprehensible freedom. This was the world she'd developed such a bond for.

Bringing herself out of this reverie, Tally prepared for her shift and ran her first rounds. Finding everything in the exact order she felt it needed to be in, she walked over to where Ahkmenrah stood, after, of course, the tour group left. "Another night."

"Yes, that would be the case."

"So, what's your plan?"

"I have none at this point."

"Well, be glad it's Saturday."

"Aren't you supposed to be off, as you were yesterday?"

"Yeah, but I love my job too much, no matter how much it drives me crazy. Plus, I think McPhee wanted me here."

"Why?"

"Don't expect me to know."

"How did you make it this far, then, through all the chaos?"

"Sheer luck, dammit."

"That makes perfect sense."

"Good, because it's the best answer I have."

Ahkmenrah rolled his eyes and bowed his head, shaking it. Tally smirked to herself when she noticed that he was smiling. The murmuring around them continued, filling the room and Tally's whole world. Ahkmenrah looked up at her, smiling. He kissed Tally gently. "Perhaps after this you might like to go for a walk with me?"

"Sure."


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Sure enough, Ahkmenrah stood waiting at the threshold of one of the corridors after the crowd of museum-goers dispersed. Tally walked over and leaned against the wall, smirking. "Ah, so you've made it," Ahkmenrah said, plastering a smirk on his face as well.

"Of course. Wouldn't miss it."

"So, where shall we begin?"

"You pick this time. It's your turn, anyway."

"How does the Hall of Greek Art sound?"

"Just fine."

He and Tally set off through the museum, talking about nothing of importance to the greater survival of the museum. Again, Tally was captured by the feeling that her world had simultaneously shrunken to the size of the Museum of Natural History while at the same time expanded to include a history going back to the time represented by the pharaoh at her side, and far beyond. The day had seemed to become the night, and her nights, which were days, were consumed with the museum. The museum consumed her entirely, and she wasn't letting go.

Jedediah watched Octavius with more scrutiny than usual, though the latter seemed just fine. He was just worried Octavius would be consumed by homesickness, like the previous night. Jed sighed. Maybe when Larry had told him he worried too much, he was right.

"Jedediah, what are you thinking?" Octavius asked, jarring Jed from his musings.

"Just I was thinking about what Larry said."

"What about."

"Look, I love you, so I can worry about you all I want, okay? I'm just scared to lose you."

Octavius pulled Jed into an embrace, kissing the hollow between his neck and shoulder gently. He ran his fingers through Jed's hair. "I'm not going anywhere. I swear this to you." Jed squeezed Octavius' shoulders gently.

"Don't let go, Octy."

"Alright."

Larry scanned the halls again in the middle of the night, passing the beam of his flashlight over, through, and around every nook and cranny, especially the ones obscured by shadow. Most of the exhibits, save the Greek art, were milling about in the lobby. He'd stopped to talk to one of the Greek art pieces once, but McPhee caught up with him and almost had him commited.

While everything seemed normal, he was almost certain something was off. It didn't take him long to figure out why.

Tally, too, was making her rounds in the middle of the night, as something of an extra precaution. She'd left Ahkmenrah in the Egyptian wing in the care of his guards and, unfortunately, his brother. She found her way around easily enough, but when she reached the Hall of North American Mammals, her cell phone rang. "Hello?"

"Yes, I see you have your cell with you." The voice sent chills down Tally's spine.

"Who are you?"

"Listen to me," the voice hissed. "I'm a hostage in the basement."

"McPhee?"

"Shh, he'll hear you."

"Okay, who's 'he'?"

"My captor. You must be careful."

"We're busting you out, don't worry."

"Oh, I'm not worried."

"Look, I'll get help and we'll bust you out." Tally hung up and dashed through the halls, meeting Larry in the Diorama Room. Without preface, she explained the situation in as much detail as she could given what she knew.

"Oo, this is bad. How're we gonna explain this to the board?"

"Forget the board, dude. How're we gonna bust McPhee out?"

"Bust him out? Are you mad?"

"Yes, I'm mad, but forget about me being stupid."

"Hey, you need to bust somebody out?" Jedediah asked, directing the guards' attention to the top of the bench.

"Uh, yeah."

"Let us assist you," Octavius said. He was found at Jed's side, as always.

"You two? Assist us? Are you crazy?"

"Yeah, but like you said, we ain't stupid."

"How do you want us to go about this, my liege and my lady?"

"Okay, ignoring your obvious awkward archaic-ness." Tally leaned in toward the miniatures, pulling Larry with her, and laid out her plan.


	4. Chapter 3

Not quite it, pinkxjellybean, but that's actually really funny.

Chapter Three

When Tally stood in the lobby, examining the exhibits and making sure no one made eyes at the front door and acted on what could be totally lifethreatening at three thirty in the morning, she got her second phone call. "What do you want this time?"

"I know you're coming, and I'm ready for you." This voice was different, more hiss-like, more chilling.

"Who the hell are you?"

"You know who I am, Tally. Think long and hard about this."

"Tell me who you are. Tell me your name."

"No. I don't answer to you anymore, Talia."

"Hey, what did I say about calling me that?"

"I don't recall. Remind me."

"I said my name is Tally. Talia's dead, and you should know that better than anyone."

"I'm afraid I don't, but it seems you know me, after all."

"Oh, God, don't I have to correct everyone? Even total strangers? For the love of..." Tally hung up and almost slammed her phone down on the reception desk when she realized half the museum populace was staring at her, mostly in shock. She shoved her phone into her pocket, bowed her head, turned away, and walked off.

Jedediah leaned against the wall of the Rome display. The tunnel had been convenient, if nothing else, and the teamwork between the cowboys and Romans to complete it was such a nice change of events from all the fighting. Now, the cowboy let his eyes scan the surroundings for his general. Octavius walked over and rested his hand against the wall next to Jed, leaning on it. "Am I late?"

"Naw, you're fine."

"Are you sure? If I-"

"Don't worry about it. You worry too much."

Octavius leaned his back against the wall where his hand was. Jed turned his face and found himself looking Octavius in the eye. He smiled, and the general smiled back. "Perhaps you're right, Jed. I worry too much, but you know I have a good reason."

"What?"

"You know I love you."

"I love you, too." Jed kissed Octavius gently and a grin threatened to split his face open like a walnut. "Now, you listen to me. You gotta relax at least a little, but not too much."

"Why not too much."

"Then you wouldn't be much of an Octy, now would you?"

"Fair enough." Octavius kissed Jedediah again, with a little more passion, though as gently as he could safely manage without pissing Jed off, if it were possible with him.

"Hey, you keep your soldiers in line for me for later, okay?"

"As always, my love."

"You rock." Jed pulled Octavius into a tight embrace.

Larry leaned against one of the walls in the lobby, next to where Tally slumped, clutching her phone. "What happened?" he asked.

"McPhee's captor called."

"What does he want?"

"I dunno. He said he was ready for me, and he said I knew him. I just had to think about who he was, at least, according to him."

"Well, guess it's time to do what we do."

"Give me a sec. The only man I know that would have a motive to mess with McPhee would've been Cecil, and he's dead."

"Hang on, what's in Cecil's notes?"

"Nothing, save a mention of McPhee as the most bumbling idiot of all time, and I think there was something about hating him as a curator, too, but they were crazy, remember?"

"McPhee knew Cecil?"

"And apparently abandoned him."

"Hey, you believe in ghosts?"

"Why?"

"Maybe I can find someone to have a seance."

"And contact him? That guy had a book full of shit like that."

"Oh, well then, can you find it?"

"Somewhere."

"Need me to cover for you?"

"Most likely." Tally pulled herself to her feet. "I'll try to be fast, though."

"Okay."

She fled the lobby like the apocalypse was about to happen, and Larry began to wonder why, exactly, even though she did say she would be fast.

Tally took the closest cab she could find and paid for a trip to her apartment. She ran up the stairs, let herself into her apartment, and found the book on top of the coffee table. Without a second thought, she flipped through the pages until she found a seance ritual. "This guy's crazy," Tally whispered, but she marked the page and took the whole book with her nonetheless and dashed down the stairs. She took a cab back to the museum and paid out of Cecil's wallet.

She made it up the stairs and through the door by midnight. "That was quick," Larry said.

"I said I'd try to be fast."

"So, you think this can help us get McPhee back?"

"It's worth a shot." She opened the book to the page she'd marked. "The guy was a nut, but at least some of his junk makes sense. Now, do you have five candles?"

Larry and Tally managed to find everything they needed to call forth Cecil's spirit. Tally chanted from the book, and Cecil's voice filled the room, startling some of the exhibits who decided to stay past party time. "What do you want?"

"Cecil, I know you know McPhee. Where is he?"

"Whaddaya mean, where is he?"

"You don't know McPhee's been kidnapped?"

"Kidnapped?"

"Yeah. What, you didn't know?"

"I told you Joshua would do something like this sooner or later."

"Joshua? As in Joshua Shanahan?"

"Yeah, that Joshua. If it wasn't you it would've been someone else, like McPhee."

"Why McPhee."

"Find him and ask him yourself."

The voice abruptly vanished and the sense of a presence faded. "Okay," Tally sighed. "Where's Joshua Shanahan?"

"Who's he?" Larry asked.

"He's some guy I used to date. Cecil hated him, but I couldn't blame him."

"Why?"

"He's a convict." Larry gave her a confused look. "What? He was a convict, among many other bad things."

"He's our kidnapper, then, isn't he?"

"Sounds like, but why does he want McPhee?"


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

McPhee looked around for about two more seconds before he realized he was in the basement of his own museum, tied to a chair, with a piece of duct tape covering his mouth. His captor strode over to where he sat. "Enjoying yourself?" he hissed, connecting a hook to McPhee's temple. "Wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable."

The nameless man took a few more slow, sure steps, fingering something. He turned and aimed the object at McPhee's throat. Realizing the object was a knife, McPhee tried to plead for his life when the tape was ripped off his lips. "I'll do anything. What do you want? I'll do it, I swear."

"Shut up. You're just a curator at a dusty old museum." The man punched McPhee again, in the gut this time, before walking away.

Tally put the candles away and cleaned up the lobby floor. The book she locked away in the security office with the rest of the random junk that had accumulated over the years. The exhibits filled the lobby, all seeking information about what had just happened. One of the miniature Roman spies happened to know that McPhee never walked out of the museum, which was valuable to the other exhibits and, apparently, Octavius in particular.

Octavius and Jedediah listened to one of Octavius' spies explain what he knew of McPhee's disappearance, which was the first the two miniatures heard of that. When the spy finished, Octavius said, "You've seen this, correct?"

"Yes, absolutely," the spy replied.

"Alright. Is that all?"

"Of course, General."

"Thank you. What do you make of this, Jedediah?" Jed shrugged, but his lips remained sealed. "Well, then."

"Well, if you want me to say something, I say McPhee either got lost or got kidnapped. Either way, he went missing."

"Hm, that's quite the theory, Jedediah."

"Which one?"

"The kidnapping one. Do you believe it?"

"I dunno what to believe. All I know is McPhee ain't here. Those are the only two reasons I can think of why."

"Hm. Interesting." Octavius gave a few orders to his spy in Latin, and the spy ran off.

"So, how much time we got?"

"I don't know. However, from experience, I would find a kidnap victim as early as possible, and this kidnapping changes our whole plan entirely. You do realize this, correct?"

"Yeah, I got that part, so when do you want us to head out?"

Tally milled about in the main hall of the Egyptian Wing, watching Ahkmenrah study the hieroglyphs on the columns while his twenty-foot-tall guards stood watch at the threshold of the hall. Ahkmenrah begin to read the heiroglyphs aloud, translating them, even. She listened to the strange stories the hieroglyphs told, all of which glorified the pharaoh. "So, how much of this is true?"

Ahkmenrah turned three quarters of the way and smiled. "Actually, I'd start by believing about half of it, but beyond that, even I feel it's up in the air."

"Oh, really? So, what's true, then?"

"So you want me to brag about my reign as pharaoh? Well then. Let me read you the whole thing and you can decide for yourself." Ahkmenrah read the hieroglyphs aloud and Tally listened intently, struggling to scrutinize the tales. It had helped take her mind off of McPhee's kidnapping, at least until Ahkmenrah said something. "You managed to reach Cecil in the land of the dead."

"You saw that?"

"Of course. What did he tell you?"

"He figured out Joshua was the most likely kidnapper, like he wasn't possessing anyone."

"Why would he-oh."

"Afterlife or not, Cecil knew, which was the next best thing to his possessing the kidnapper."

"At least there's that. Now, how may I assist you?"

"How well do you know the basement?"


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

McPhee let his eyes adjust to the darkness completely before he attempted to recognize the face of his captor. Failing that, he asked, "Who are you?"

"One of your night guards know me, and I'm certain they both have my name by now."

"Who are you?"

"I? Who am I? No one important. Just a man seeking vengeance."

"What is your name?"

"That is a nonessential detail when it comes to saving your life."

"But it is essential to putting you in prison."

"You think this is funny?"

"Oh, I think this is very funny. I could beat you at your own humor game. It would be a bloodbath."

"Good. Who wants a sour kidnap victim?"

"Oh, I certainly wouldn't, but I've never kidnapped anybody."

"Good. That makes one of us. Rest in peace."

McPhee gulped, but his mind went blank.

Jedediah leaned over, peering out from behind a wall. He was followed closely by Octavius, and as far as they could see, the corridor was empty. Jed led Octavius down the corridor, keeping close to the wall and looking around for anyone who might notice them. They slipped through the museum until they found McPhee's office, and again they broke in. Octavius scanned the walls, but from his vantage point, he could see nothing useful.

"'Kay, what're we supposed to find?" Jed asked.

"Clues as to the whereabouts of Dr. McPhee. Have you found anything?"

"Naw, not yet."

"Well, let's tear this place apart then. We're in no danger of being discovered as of yet."

"Hey, wait a sec. Remember a few months ago the return of Cecil?"

"With distinct clarity. Why?"

"He was the only one of 'em to survive."

"What are you getting at?"

"I'm getting at the fact that if he was the only one to survive, he was the only one who knew the truth, except us."

"So you think this is why he was taken?"

"Yeah, but who could want him?"

"Perhaps someone who wanted him dead alongside Cecil."

"Yeah, but who?"

"I can't say. I'm not all that familiar with the Fredricks family's politics."

"Think he knew the family?"

"Yes, actually, I do."

Tally followed Ahkmenrah through the basement's chambers and corridors until they reached an expansive space. In the center was McPhee, tied to a chair with a cut across his forehead. Tally ran up to him before fully realizing what had happened. "Okay, this is ironic."

"Ironic? So you're ironic night guard while your friend is comedy night guard?" McPhee snapped.

"Zip it. I'm here to get you out, whether you want me to or not."

"Okay, then. I'll zip it, if you can get me out of here."

"Then shut the hell up."

"Ah, what a lovely surprise." The cold voice forced Tally to turn around and stare down her captor. "The curator, his night guard, and the mummy of Ahkmenrah. Oh, this is truly a party now!"

"What do you want us for?" McPhee asked.

"Talia knows, don't you, Talia?"

"Talia doesn't exist anymore. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"Of course you're still here, Talia. Otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation. Perhaps you'd like a nap after your harsh night." Tally felt a sharp pain to her temple before her vision began to fade. "I'll escort your friend back to his sarcophagus." That was the last thing Tally heard.

Ahkmenrah struggled against the man's grip as he was dragged into the Egyptian wing and thrown into the nearest wall. "What are you going to do to her?"

"Oh, how sweet. You think I'm going to hurt her. I loved her, and I couldn't think of anything further from my thoughts."

"If you hurt her, I'll see to it myself your heart is fed to the beast."

The man kicked Ahkmenrah in the gut before walking away.

Tally came to with a harsh headache, found she was chained to a pipe, and wished she'd lost her mind, all in the space of about three seconds. She could clearly see McPhee, who was babbling to himself as if he was going mad. "Okay, you can shut up now. We'll get out somehow," Tally finally said.

"And how do you figure that?"

"You just need to trust me, okay?"

"Trust you? You're probably the one that got me into this mess!"

"If my theory's correct."

"Theory?"

"That he's my ex-boyfriend, the one Cecil hated."

"I thought Cecil didn't care about you."

"He's like that when he's drunk. He can't think straight until he's sober, which is amazingly often."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, even though he really loves a good party and a cold beer. He's usually sober."

"I've got that part, so what were you saying?"

"If he's my ex-boyfriend, he'd have wanted me. If Cecil tried to stop him, then he'd have definitely wanted Cecil dead. I just can't figure out how you fit in."

"Oh, you honestly think Cecil liked me?"

"So shouldn't you be on his side?"

"Which 'he'?"

"Joshua. Joshua Shanahan."

"Ah. I remember him. He kept touching all the exhibits, and I couldn't get him to stop. His mother was no help at all."

"I knew he was a brat but I didn't know he was that bad."

"He was. He was."

"Silence. Both of you," the captor shouted as he stormed through the basement. "Which of you knows me?"

"I do, prick head."

"Always the fiesty ones, isn't it, Talia?"

"Don't call me Talia." Tally lunged for her captor, but the handcuffs caught her before she could get far. "It's Tally, Joshua!"

"Well done. You do know me."

"So you are Joshua Shanahan," McPhee said almost offhandedly.

"Shut up, McPhee. I don't follow your rules anymore."

"You never did," Tally and McPhee said at the same time.

"Good memory. Have fun in hell."

Tally glared at Joshua as he walked out, his nose in the air.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Tally's eyes fluttered open and she stretched out as well as she could for spending the day asleep against a pipe in a basement. Joshua had returned, sort of, and she found him leaning against a wall, a gun in one hand and the traces of a smirk on his shadowed face. Ignoring anything he might have said, she turned her attention to McPhee, who lay his head on the back of the chair, slouching, finally conceeding his defeat. "Oh, tell me we're getting out of here," he whispered.

"There's gotta be a way," Tally replied. "I used to date this guy. Let's see what I come up with."

"You used to date him?"

"Then I broke up with him."

"I see why."

Joshua stood to his full height and walked into the chamber slowly, letting his steps echo against the wall as they drew closer. Finally, he stood two feet from Tally, facing her. "You gonna let me out?" Tally said coldly.

"Oh, why would I do that, when you're going to release him?"

"There's people that know he's down here, and soon they'll figure out that I'm down here."

"Perhaps, perhaps not. You know how stupid people can be."

"People can also be very smart. That's how we ended up here, in a museum."

"In a dusty old museum with little wax figures and a skeleton that insists on fetch."

"How do you know that?"

"Don't think I don't know what's here. It's that tablet of Ahkmenrah, isn't it?"

"Oh, God, you're a weirdo."

"Oh, I'm the weirdo, huh? You're the one that thinks we aren't a couple anymore."

"We're not together. You keep thinking we still have a shot, and I'll bet you even planned a wedding for us."

"Sorry to disappoint, Talia, but I know better. How do you feel about Monte Carlo?"

"Ignoring your blatant misuse of my name, what do you want with us? Revenge?"

"You could call it revenge. You two are the most deluded I've met regarding me."

"And you're the most egotistical ex-boyfriend I've ever had the extreme displeasure to know."

Joshua covered the remaining distance and glared down at Tally. "Egotistical?"

"Yeah." Tally changed the tone of her voice and began to stand up. "You're also incredibly stupid." She took out both of his knees, bringing him to the ground. She kicked him in the chin and hissed, "Give me the key."

"Make me, you stupid bitch."

Tally kicked Joshua again, this time in the chest. "Give me the key or it's your balls."

"Okay, okay, it's right here." Joshua fished the key out of his pocket and held it above his head.

"How come I don't trust you to give it to me?"

"You don't?"

"Untie McPhee first, and then give the key to him, and I'll watch."

"Excuse me?"

"Untie McPhee, give him the key, and I'll watch."

Joshua kept his eyes on Tally as he walked over to where McPhee sat, untied him, and helped the curator to his feet. He handed the curator the key and stepped back, with his hands up in surrender. "You have what you want now."

"Now what?"

"You listen to me, because that tablet isn't going to see this museum ever again." Joshua turned and ran before Tally could protest.

Ahkmenrah just got out of his sarcophagus and walked off being a mummy for twelve hours when a strange man burst into the Egyptian wing, followed closely by the two guards and Kahmunrah. Ahkmenrah managed to trip the man before he could get far and handed the man over to the guards, illiciting a dirty look from Kahmunrah. "Don't go there," he whispered. The guards restrained the crazy man while Kahmunrah looked from him to his brother.

"What's going on?"

"You think I have all the answers?"

"Why shouldn't you?"

"Remember what I said about pharaohs being human? This is one of those moments."

"Oh, surely you must have some kind of plan, especially for dealing with him." Kahmunrah jerked his head toward the man in the hall.

"I wish I could just say 'interrogate him,' but I'm afraid it's not that easy."

"So what do we do?"

"We wait, and we watch him."

McPhee and Tally walked into the lobby, which Tally was surprised to find was empty. "They know something's going to happen," Tally whispered. "That's why they're not here."

"How do you know that?"

"I know these exhibits almost as well as Larry does."

"How?"

"Remember that tablet we were talking about in the basement? It's got certain...properties...unique to it."

"Properties, you said?"

"Yeah. I'll explain the sunset after this mess is over."

"Excuse me?"

"I can't explain it, but I can show you easy."

"Oh, good, you can show me." McPhee walked into the lobby, shaking some. Tally scanned the lobby again, more carefully. Only then was she sure the lobby was completely empty, and she knew something was seriously wrong.

Jedediah and Octavius led the miniatures into the Egyptian wing, where Kahmunrah hovered over a twenty-something, holding his sword to the man's neck. Octavius gestured to his archers and the Mayans, who readied their arrows and took aim. Kahmunrah glanced at them, but he said nothing. The archers fired on the man lying in the hall, who ripped out whatever small arrows he couldn't dodge. A battle cry escaped Jed's lips, and the miniatuers charged as if they were a swarm.

The man struggled to fight them off, but he also had the guards' giant spears and Kahmunrah's sword to avoid, as well. Eventually, his struggles proved fruitful and he ran out of the Egyptian wing, tripping over blockades of miniatures as he went.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Tally made it to the Egyptian wing, certain she'd spied Joshua several times en route, but that was a little farther from her thoughts than other things. She found Ahkmenrah with some ease, and the first thing that was out of her mouth was, "Is the tablet still here?"

"Yes, for now," Ahkmenrah replied. "Who was that?"

"Was Joshua just here?"

"That was him? Oh, for the love of Ra-"

"Breathe, dammit."

"I am breathing. I'm worried about my tablet."

"Right, of course."

"Where's this Joshua of yours now?"

"He's coming back, that's where he is."

"He's coming back?"

"In the flesh, and he's gonna steal that tablet for some reason."

"Power, most likely," Kahmunrah supplied. "That was my reason."

"You tried this?"

"And he ended up killed." Ahkmenrah glared at one of his guards out of the corner of his eye.

"Moving on." Tally walked into the chamber and up to Ahkmenrah's sarcophagus. She looked up at the tablet inside its stela. "Does it have a defense mechanism?"

"Well," Ahkmenrah said slowly, walking up to Tally, "there is one thing."

The miniatures followed the twenty-something through the museum, firing arrows and attacking any way they knew how whenever they got the chance. The man limped back to the Egyptian wing, while the miniatures launched a final major assault, pulling him to the ground and attempting to incapacitate him any way they could.

The man managed to escape and hobble back through the corridors of the museum to the Egyptian wing, fighting past the guards and Kahmunrah only to find that Tally and Akhmenrah were nowhere in sight and the tablet was unguarded. He stepped up to the stela containing the tablet and took a deep breath. "Steady as she goes," he muttered, peeling the tablet from the stela.

As soon as he was home free, he turned to run.

Tally shadowed Joshua until he reached the Hall of Greek Art, where she knew he was cornered. She stood at the threshold and waited for him to turn around, which he eventually did. "Let me out."

"Why should I?"

"I have the power, remember?"

"You think you hold power over a Fredricks?"

"You are a Johannson!" Joshua charged her, and she was certain it was all over.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Within seconds, Joshua had a hand on Tally's throat, the other clutching the tablet tightly. "You're a Johannson, you're mine, and it's for good."

"There're two things you're forgetting: never mess with an ancient Egyptian mummy's stuff, and I. Am. A. Fredricks." Tally kicked Joshua in the chest with both legs, forcing him to let go of both her and the tablet. Joshua grabbed the tablet again and tried to run, but Tally grabbed him by the back of his shirt. He struggled against her grip until she flung him into Ahkmenrah's sarcophagus. The glass casing shattered and the sarcophagus tumbled to the floor. The sound echoed through the museum, filling it until the silence reigned supreme once again.

Joshua stumbled to his feet, still clutching the tablet. "How much good will that do you?"

"Seize him." Tally turned toward the entrance to the Egyptian room, where Ahkmenrah stood, flanked by his two guards. The two guards squeezed into the chamber while Ahkmenrah walked over to Tally. "Well done," he whispered.

"Your brother taught me a few things."

"I see that."

Tally glanced over at Joshua, who was fending off the twenty-foot-tall statue guards while keeping one arm around the tablet. "Looks like the miniatures got to him."

"Several times, it would seem."

The second Joshua made a beeline for the door, Tally slid in and kicked his legs out from under him. The tablet tumbled from his grasp and slid over to where Kahmunrah stood. He kicked it up into his hand and walked into the chamber, stopping when he reached the remains of the glass case and the sarcophagus' separate halves scattered about the floor. "Well, well, well, someone's been naughty."

"Zip it, Kahmunrah," Tally hissed, getting to her feet. "We've got a situation here."

"Oh, do we, now?"

"You sure you wanna lose that tablet forever?"

"No." Kahmunrah clutched the tablet more tightly.

"Look, if you're not careful with what you do with that thing, you'll lose it and, likely, your life."

"Oh, really? I suppose I'd better be careful with it, then."

"Oh, gee, you think?"

"I hope you can catch." Kahmurah tossed the tablet up into the air, and Tally leapt after it, catching it easily but slipped on landing, ending up on her butt and banging her head against a wall. Joshua lunged for her, but Ahkmenrah grabbed the back of his shirt and jerked back.

Tally stumbled to her feet, clutching the tablet until her knuckles were white. She found herself leaning against a wall, watching the insanity insue as Joshua struggled against Kahmunrah and Ahkmenrah and nearby exhibits flooded in to see what the chaos was about. Joshua shoved his way past the two Egyptians and rushed toward Tally.

Tally shuddered and closed her eyes, holding the tablet above her head. "Do you trust me, Ahk?"

"With my soul," Ahkmenrah whispered.

With closed eyes, Tally recited the incantation Ahkmenrah taught her. It felt to her like lightning shot down her arms and throughout her back. She felt herself falling to the ground, the tablet slipping from her fingers, and her vision clouded, remaining just clear enough for her to see that some of the exhibits had frozen in place, all trying to attack Joshua and defend their tablet.

Joshua dashed forward and grabbed the tablet, limping for a break for it when the two stone guards got to him and kept him from leaving. Kahmunrah handed his brother his sword, and Ahkmenrah tapped Joshua on the shoulder. Percieving this threat, Joshua ran toward Tally, still clutching the tablet. Ahkmenrah grabbed him by the shirt again, pulling him back.

Joshua jerked himself free, tearing his shirt in the process, and returned himself to finding a way out of his mess. For the most part, he deemed himself stuck in the Egyptian Room with two Egyptians and several other exhibits, several of which wielded assorted weapons but all of which no real threat to him. He turned to Kahmunrah and Ahkmenrah, the latter using his brother's sword to keep Joshua away from his sarcophagus.

"Hey, uh, nice night, isn't it," he managed, attempting to smile and back away slowly.

"You'll not leave here tonight," Ahkmenrah hissed.

"Watch me." Joshua turned to run, and Ahkmenrah sliced through his forearm. "Wow, you're serious."

The pharaoh pointed the blade at Joshua's neck, keeping his features smooth and even. "I mean every word, so believe me when I say a threat to my tablet and its power shouldn't exist for even a day before being eradicated." With one swift movement, he sliced across Joshua's neck. He handed the blade off to Kahmunrah as if nothing had happened, and it was in that same manner that Kahmunrah cleaned the sword while Ahkmenrah slipped past his guards and a new urgency took him.

Ahkmenrah found his way to the nearest garbage can, threw the lid off, and let loose a spray of chunks which took a good few minutes to completely expel.


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Tally's eyes fluttered open and she looked around, but she could see nothing except Cecil kneeling over her. "You took quite a hit, there," he said lightly when Tally sat up.

"Feels like I got struck by lightning and hit by a train at the same time."

"Hm, that's really something."

"The exhibits that froze...will they...?"

"Wake up? I should think so."

"What, did it happen before?"

"In a sense. The world works in mysterious ways."

"You and your occultism. I should've known."

"It's saved my life more times than you're aware, Tally."

"It probably also destroyed it."

"Okay, that, too."

"So, what were you here for?"

"Excuse me?"

"You said you'd meet me at the threshold of death, and here I am. What comes next?"

"Well, I'm afraid I can't let you come with me. You've got your whole life ahead of you, Tally, and I'm glad you had me killed, because I always wanted to be here when I said that."

"But I'm the reason you're dead."

"It was my time. Fate chooses a pair of hands when she needs to."

"You're taking this extremely well. Should I be scared?"

"Of course not, Tally-baby. You don't need to be scared right now." Tally chewed her lip, but his use of her childhood nickname calmed her nerves some. "Now, you've got to go back, if only for that little gift I left at your apartment."

"What-never mind. Cleaning up the chaos comes first, then showing McPhee what makes this museum tick."

"You intend to show him?"

"Of course. Why shouldn't I?"

"Oh, it just seems a little dangerous to me, is all."

"Life's not life until you take a few risks."

"Well, then, if you insist, I won't stop you. However, I've gotta say you've got quite the to-do list."

"Yeah, guess so."

"You better get back, girly, before it gets ugly."

"Yeah, guess I should." Tally felt herself fading fast and found the words for one last sentence. "Will I see you again?"

"In the future, since you woke me up and let me be your resident ghost, or maybe when you die."

"Bye, Cecil."

"Have fun in the real world, Tally."

Tally came to with a pounding back ache and sore arms. She pushed herself up and looked around. Joshua lay dead in a pool of blood at the entrance to the Egyptian room, Ahkmenrah was missing, and Kahmunrah resumed his business as if nothing had happened. She was right: some of the exhibits had frozen in place while watching or attempting to join the melee. She shook her head a few times and walked over to the tablet, picking it up and putting it back in place.

The tablet glowed when it was back in its stela, and the exhibits which were frozen returned to their nighttime states, largely disoriented. After some explaning from an amazingly tardy Larry, Tally, and Ahkmenrah, order was restored and everyone returned to business as usual.

Tally was cleaning up the broken glass case when Ahkmenrah returned. "What the hell happened to you?" she asked.

"I just killed a man," Ahkmenrah said coldly, surpressing his emotions.

"Okay, I can see the body. How do we mask this?"

"We're exhibits. Who'll suspect us, right?"

"You're terrified."

"Oh, not even close. I'm mortified."

"Wanna help me with your sarcophagus?"

Ahkmenrah and Tally successfully righted the former's sarcophagus and cleaned up the rest of the glass. By then it was barely a half hour until dawn, and some of the exhibits were starting to make their way back to their displays.

"Hey, uh, you don't mind if I show McPhee your tablet, do you?" Tally asked.

"Oh, not at all, so long as he doesn't try to steal it."

"You know his reputation's taking a hit since that trial. I don't think he'd wanna ruin it even more."

"That logic I understand."

"Hey, uh, you need help getting back in?"

"No, but thanks for the offer." Ahkmenrah kissed Tally, climbed into his sarcophagus and smiled one last smile at her, who returned it with a wave.

"See you tomorrow," she whispered after he shut the lid.


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Tally arrived for her shift fifteen minutes early, allotting five minutes to finding who she was looking for. When she found McPhee, she had nine minutes left, and she signalled for him to follow. She led him into the Egyptian wing and walked up to the sarcophagus. "In seven minutes, you'll see the impossible, and I'll have no other explanation for it except Cecil's: magic."

"Whatever happened to 'technology'?"

"This can't be done with technology. Technology can't give the long-dead flesh and make them walk again."

"What about robots?"

"Robots were never alive. Ahkmenrah was alive." Tally checked her watch. "Okay, four minutes thirty seconds and counting. You ready for this?"

"How're we going to pass the time?"

"Well, let me tell you something. Every night, the exhibits in this museum come to life. No technology, just magic. It's because of Ahkmenrah's tablet. Among other things, it brings everything in the museum or whatever building it's in to life at night. If any of the exhibits end up outside while the sun rises, it turns to dust, and all hope of recovering it is lost."

"You know all this how?"

"Cecil taught me the second I expressed interest in becoming a night guard." She checked her watch again. "Okay, three minutes."

"Could you please stop counting?"

"Okay, I will, as long as you tell me what else you want to know."

McPhee asked questions, and Tally answered them with the cumulative knowledge of Ahkmenrah and Cecil, along with some common sense. With just a few seconds to spare, Tally cut the conversation short and said, "It's time."

The tablet glowed, and within seconds, Tally helped Ahkmenrah push the sarcophagus lid away from him and sat up. "He's...he's...supposed...to be a...a mummy."

"Yep, and here he is, Pharaoh Ahkmenrah in the flesh."

Ahkmenrah climbed out stood up to his full height and waved, smiling at Tally and kissing her lightly, as usual.

"He has flesh. Impossible."

"Hey, Dr. McPhee, maybe you should have a seat." McPhee found a nearby bench and flopped down onto it, rubbing his eyes and muttering nonsense about how what he'd clearly just seen couldn't be happening. Ahkmenrah turned to Tally, who merely shrugged.

"Will he be alright?"

"Yeah, he'll be fine. He just needs a moment, from the looks of him."

"Then a moment he shall have." Ahkmenrah walked out of the Egyptian wing and into the rest of the museum. After reassuring herself of McPhee's prognosis, she followed him.


	12. Epilogue

Epilogue

McPhee had come to accept the reality of the museum's liveliness at night, and little by little, he got himself on good terms with some of the exhibits. Larry found himself a new ally in his guardianship of the exhibits at night, if only for the few hours of the late show.

At the end of her shift one night, Tally walked into the apartment and flopped onto the couch. There was a crinkle of paper, and she sat up and checked under the cushions, finding a small package wrapped in birthday-themed wrapping paper. She brought the package into the light and unwrapped it gently.

The wrapping paper concealed a photograph of her, barely a month old, wrapped in Cecil's arms while he sat on the central bench in the Diorama Room. She ran her thumb across the surface of the photo and clutched it to her chest, tears streaming down her face.

After a long moment, she turned the photo around and read the back. 'Cecil and Tally, Jan 18, 1991. Gus was sober enough to take two of this one. We all knew Johanna would burn what she found.'

"Thanks, Cecil," Tally whispered.

Cecil watched from the window, pleased that Tally had finally found her favorite photo. He watched her reaction with a smile on his lips. "You're welcome, Tally-baby," he whispered, though he was certain she'd never hear her. 


End file.
